Resolution

Massive cringe.

I took the time to re-read what I wrote today and what I wrote yesterday. I'm honestly not happy at all. It's not because of the cheesiness inherent in my entries, but the simple fact that my English went right out of the window and many sentences were so awkward to read.

I've truly lost my ability to write, after serving the army. (This sentence once ended with "write in the army", which makes zero sense with respect to what I was trying to convey. This is beyond worrying. I'm scared.)

This feels horrible - since I do pride myself for being able to make cogent arguments. One of the most important things in making sound arguments would the ability to write. It seems that I've lost that ability, and I'm really bad at this now.

It's even scarier given that I'm heading to university in just a matter of days, and that writing and crafting essays is a major component of my degree.

What shall I do? I'm paralysed with fear, but I do know that fear wouldn't be adequate nor useful in solving this problem. It's time like this where I don't appreciate the services my amygdalae render.

Perhaps I should write more. Type more, and catch myself making mistakes and correcting them. (I just did that for the preceding sentence - goodness me.) Continue reading all my articles from a multitude of sources and note carefully how and what to write. Write short sentences, and don't make my sentences too convoluted so that people can understand my train of thought. Read how my peers and how other people write, and note how language is used to create a certain (desired) effect.

I don't feel at all calm, but I cannot despair. Writing is what makes me who I am. Writing is the tool I use to express myself. I'm overwhelmed with fear - because I can no longer write properly, and that means I wouldn't be able to express my thoughts and feelings in the best way possible. Yet, I know I should have a little faith.

Just a little bit of faith - that I will improve and get my writing back on track. I know I'll be fine. I will. I just got to keep trying, and keep that faith that I'll improve, slowly but steadily.

M