Monday, August 14, 2017

D minus one month

August 14th.

Exactly a month left before I'm heading off to the UK. It's pretty daunting because I really don't know what to expect over there. Especially the competition academically.

I told L my concerns the other day and she was like "don't worry lah, they're all so un-bright - especially all the masters students I get in contact with." I'm not sure whether to take comfort in that - she's freaking bright and she might have had a much different experience dominating her competition compared to what I might feel. I mean - well, she lost a grand total of 40 points off the full score on the old SAT - that's just simply amazing.

If anything, I'm a much lesser version of her. So I get doubly worried when she faces obstacles in her time in London, because I know if she does, I'll just go through the same and end up much worse off.

I'm probably thinking too much. S used to tell me to have more confidence in myself. Even my mother was talking about how I shouldn't be viewing myself as one which is not as stellar as the rest. But when you're accustomed at performing badly at the back of the rat race it's not a fear one can let go easily.

My head hurts, and I'm still figuring how to learn LaTeX, so I'm going to end this entry early right here today.

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