Yesterday was a great day.
My braces are finally off after two years, and it's so lovely not having to bother with the wires and see my teeth being so straight. My ortho has done an amazing job, and it can't be any better.
It's a good start, and it is a goodbye to a relic that harkens back to the era of my mandatory conscription, so that's even better. Hell, I even realised the exact day of the welcome ceremony in the university I'm going to head is on my birthday itself, so hurray.
I know I have a fetish for coincidences and dates. But there's something so serendipitous about it that intrigues me.
I digress, but I do wonder who is going to take the time to wish me on my birthday, but I guess I can think about it later.
Today I read kenn-do's blog again and there was a new entry about his ex and about how he cheated on him.
I was wondering why considerate nice people always happen to get the short end of the stick. I didn't expect today to be the day that I read about heartbreak, about people who don't cherish nice people and about people who bear the brunt of that.
I feel so helpless because I don't know what to say. I feel so helpless because it's not the first time this is happening to someone and I don't know what to do. MH was the receiving end of a girl who didn't cherish him. ID had his boyfriend cheat on him as well - and it's even disgustingly so when you know who they are. I could certainly continue and list out even more cases, but you get my drift. These people I've known are kind, considerate, caring beings. Why do people treat them in these ways? Are kind and considerate people easy to take advantage of, or are there just so many jerks around?
I know how it felt when S betrayed me, and he's just a goddamn friend. It must hurt ten times worse if the other party is your lover. S made me so worried about sharing stuff with other people because I feel they are going to get a hold at me, like S did. Now that I'm reflecting on it, I wasn't just manipulated, I was probably gaslighted on.
I really have little faith in things, but I think they are justified. I don't think I've any hope left in this mystical thing called love when everyone's having bad experiences with jerks left right and centre. You just can't escape them.
And honestly, this doesn't come at a better (worse?) timing. I found my parents' separation letter two days ago, dated from years past, nestled between other pretty important documents. I vividly remember those times, where I knew shit hit the fan and being an utterly young boy, didn't know what to do. I remember tales of cheating. I remember screams across phones, and the usually absent parent abroad being accused of something. I was wondering to ask one of them about the separation letter in my hand, but I decided against. My sister was just beside me and I decided to discreetly keep the documents rather than show her, and asking would have not been good for anyone. She doesn't remember a thing about the entire thing. Neither does the other one. They were far too young. If that's the case, the least I could do is to maintain a good impression of that parent than to shatter the image.
In light of that I'm wondering now if they're actually married; and if they are, is it in name and 'for the kids'? Nothing has changed about the periodic absence of the absent parent in the name of work. I've always been much closer with the present parent than the other, until this year where a couple of trips took us a bit closer.
Those documents have reopened it, and I'm not sure how to feel anymore. I remember the time a close friend told me and MH about her own failed relationship from years ago and her kids, and how her eldest always wants attention from his father - which never gave any after he left.
I was just wondering - would I have been in the same position as her son if things happened in that way?
Either way, I really have no faith in relationships anymore.
